Porsche Designer: “Finally, Our Cars Look Just Like Toyotas”

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(Technology) In an anonymous interview on Tuesday, a designer working for Porsche expressed relief over the fact that the burden to be unique has ended, and that many new Porsches were designed simply to look all but identical to Toyotas. “Trying to be different is really hard. You have to have an inventive mind to do that sort of thing. It is exhausting. It is easier to just copy the work of others. I am happy to report that, finally, our cars look just like Toyotas.”

The designer, who asked that his name not be published, went on to admit that he himself could “no longer really tell the difference between an SUV made by Porsche and an SUV made by virtually any other motor company,” and that this was part of a deliberate plan.

“For many years, we racked our brains to come up with unique designs, and for a long time we did, but after a while the pressure overwhelmed us. So in recent years we just figured, if a design is good enough for Toyota, and GMC, and Jeep, and Kia, and Audi, and Subaru, it is good enough for Porsche.”

When asked if he or anyone else at the company felt bad for contributing to the slow but certain demise of the world-famous Porsche brand name, he laughed and said, “I don’t hear anyone really complaining. It is what it is.”

Man Who Owns ‘Smart Car’ Insists Women Still Find Him Attractive

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(Local News) During a casual luncheon on Thursday, San Diego resident Daniel Winslow, who owns and drives a Smart Car, adamantly declared that women still find him sexually attractive. Winslow, 31, works as an assistant office coordinator for a small internet advertising firm located in Imperial Beach, California. “I go on a lot of dates, believe you me,” shot back Winslow, when asked if his new ride was having a negative impact on his love life. “And the women I hook up with are hot, too. You should see ’em,” continued Winslow, “they are beautiful.”

While his current status on Facebook is ‘single’, Winslow says he is in no hurry to settle down: “This is the best time in my life. I suppose that one might say I am sowing my wild oats.”

Mike Schoenberg, a co-worker, and one of Winlow’s closest friends, said nothing to either support or dispute his buddy’s statements. “Hey, he’s a good looking guy. And he spends a lot of time at the gym,” said Schoenberg, “but I’m not one to talk about anyone’s personal business, if that’s where this is going,”