Mother Nature During Rare, Sit-Down Interview: “I Don’t Really Give A Shit About Mankind’s Plans”

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(World) During a rare, sit-down interview on Sunday night, Mother Nature infuriated many by flatly stating, “I don’t really give a shit about mankind’s plans. Sorry. They never factor into any of my decisions.” Her comments, made during a live broadcast of This Spinning Planet with Tom Fallgrow, were “insensitive” and “heartless” according to Ron Syndergard, Director of Programming at WTYN.

Many at WTYN, the small Seattle television station that had broadcast the segment live, were aghast, according to Syndergard: “Mother Nature came off as kind of a bitch. She doesn’t care about people at all. I had never met her before, and I don’t know what I was expecting, but she really hurt our feelings.”

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Her words caused public outcry that has been heard around the world. Henry Gliek, a pastor from New Haven, Connecticut, expressed his disappointment in Mother Nature on his daily radio program, At Home With Christ, on Monday morning’s broadcast: “Mother Nature is no Mother Theresa. The former only seems to care about herself.”

While many were offended, others were quick to point out that none of Mother Nature’s latest comments should be alarming to anyone, and that they do not even constitute news. Sandra Bushlow of Lancaster, California, tweeted: “What’s the big deal? She’s always felt this way! #getagrip #itsmamaskitchen

Still, her comments were widely considered inflammatory. Below are some of the most controversial excerpts from the interview:

“I have no idea what that is, and don’t care to.”  (When asked about the industrial revolution in the United States.)

“Have you asked your own government this?” (When asked if she had anything to do with 9/11.)

“It’s all cute, and to be completely honest, I respect the effort.” (Her response to a question about the overall quality of global infrastructure, and buildings in general.)

The interview will be re-broadcast on October 7th on WTYN.

Mother Nature’s office could not be reached for comment.

Plan To Make U.S. 101/State Route 23 Reconstruction Project “Complete Shit Show” A Blazing Success

(Community Voices) If the plan was to make the heavily-used U.S. Highway 101/State Route 23 interchange in Thousand Oaks “a complete shit show” during its period of reconstruction, then it has been “a blazing success”, according to local commuters. While Caltrans, who is spearheading the project, remains focused on the fact that the widening of the 101 Freeway in that area will ultimately ease traffic congestion and improve safety for the more than 170,000 motorists who travel through the area daily, motorists “don’t really give a shit about that right now”, says Stacey Dixon of Calabasas.

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“If they wanted to create a terrifying experience for commuters, mission accomplished,” Dixon continued.

Mark O’Reily of Newbury Park agrees. “These days, as I drive Southbound on the 101 approaching Hamphire Road, I wear a helmet.”

“One of the problems is that the lane connecting CA-23 to US-101 seems to have been constructed by someone who has no eyes,” griped Charles Waters of Westlake Village. “Coming on to the 101 from the 23, you’re just all the sudden sharing a lane with another car. I would honestly feel safer driving at Saugus Speedway.”

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Caltrans, the Ventura County Transportation Commission, and the City of Thousand Oaks are partners on the $43 million project, which will not be completed until Spring, 2016.

“Meanwhile,” says Waters, “I will just have to deal with diarrhea each morning.”