Cookin’ Corner: How To Make An Amazing Root Beer Float

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(Recipe) If you’re anything like me, there are times in life when you are overcome with the desire to make a delicious, refreshing treat for yourself or your loved ones. When this mood strikes me, the solution is obvious: Root Beer Float. It’s easy if you have vanilla ice cream, root beer, a half hour, and the proper amount of counter space. Below are step by step instructions for one of the most amazing desserts ever created. Enjoy! Or as they say in France, Bon Appetit!

Ingredients Needed:

Vanilla Ice Cream (literally any kind)

Root Beer (literally any kind)

Directions:

Using a mug (or a glass of literally any kind – doesn’t matter), combine the ice cream with the root beer.

“ASK TIMMY” – Ten Years Old, Diagnosed With ADHD, And Full Of Advice For Our Readers

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(Advice) Timmy Braxton is a ten year old who resides in Kalamazoo, Michigan. His developmentally-totally-normal-considering his-age-and-environment “symptoms” have landed him in the office of a shrink two times a week, so he is already ripe with a lot of life experience. Here, Timmy answers a question from one of our very own readers.

Dear Timmy,

I want to buy a birthday gift for my seven-year-old nephew, Grady. He really liked Legos last year, but seems to have outgrown those things already. Do you think it’s because he just needs some new, more exciting ones? Or were Legos just a phase, maybe? I’m not sure. If I don’t get him Legos, I have no clue what I will buy for him. Help!

An Aunt Lost,

Michelle D’Angelo – Provo, Utah

Dear michelle,

you have to jump up on the top of the highest mountain and then – bop bop bop – a huge brontosaurus comes and eats your paper. I made up a song that makes rats turn red. We were in the ocean and I was like I JUST WANNA GO HOME. Nobody ever saw me playing hyde and seek but Amanda carsons who is in my grade dropped a piece of tomato on the ground and it was so gross!!! I colored in my coloring book me killing my mom but the picture was a taco playing banjo.

timmy

“ASK RICHARD” – Belligerent, Inebriated, and Full Of Advice For Our Readers

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Richard Gutierrez is a construction worker who was born and raised in Laredo, Texas. Here, Richard answers a question sent in by one of our very own readers.

Dear Richard,

I am fifteen years old, and I want a tattoo. My mom won’t let me get one, and it doesn’t seem fair. All of my friends have tattoos! Plus, I have been saving money for almost two years and can afford to get exactly what I want. My mom refuses to see my reasoning. She says that as long as I am living under her roof I have to go by her rules. She says I need to wait until I’m 18 before I can even consider it. What do you think? How can I get her to see my way?

Sincerely,

Ryan Sternberg – Yonkers, NY

Dear Ryan,

My fucking dog bit me today and it’s like dude what the fuck. He is a Pit named Grinder and he is a puppy but still I mean come on. My wife didn’t want me to get him in the first place but it’s like fuck you bitch I pay the bills! Know what I mean? America used to be different. I can’t believe the crap that’s going on nowadays. Plus both my cousins are all fucked up on crystal.

– Richard