“ASK RICHARD” – Belligerent, Inebriated, and Full Of Advice For Our Readers


Richard Gutierrez is a construction worker who was born and raised in Laredo, Texas. Here, Richard answers a question sent in by one of our very own readers.

Dear Richard,

I am fifteen years old, and I want a tattoo. My mom won’t let me get one, and it doesn’t seem fair. All of my friends have tattoos! Plus, I have been saving money for almost two years and can afford to get exactly what I want. My mom refuses to see my reasoning. She says that as long as I am living under her roof I have to go by her rules. She says I need to wait until I’m 18 before I can even consider it. What do you think? How can I get her to see my way?


Ryan Sternberg – Yonkers, NY

Dear Ryan,

My fucking dog bit me today and it’s like dude what the fuck. He is a Pit named Grinder and he is a puppy but still I mean come on. My wife didn’t want me to get him in the first place but it’s like fuck you bitch I pay the bills! Know what I mean? America used to be different. I can’t believe the crap that’s going on nowadays. Plus both my cousins are all fucked up on crystal.

– Richard

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